Problems rarely affect only one area of a person’s life. Often, when you’re having problems in one area of your life, such as problems resulting from depression or too much stress, things spiral downward. You may begin to feel like your life is totally out of control.
If you feel out of control, that’s actually a good thing. It means you’re aware there’s a serious problem and that you want to do something to change it. The reason you feel out of control is that you don’t know what to do about your problems and may feel that the problems have gotten bigger than you and can’t be solved.
The first thing to do is take a deep breath and realize that all problems have solutions. If you can’t find a solution on your own, you may want to consider getting help.
Once you’ve accepted that your life isn’t at all where you want it to be, the next step is to figure out what it is that you do want. Focusing too much on what you don’t have is counterproductive because it leads to depression, so you need to write down what it is that you really want.
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Think hard about this. If you’re depressed because you don’t have money or don’t follow a certain lifestyle or don’t react emotionally the way you want, the way out is to figure out exactly what you want. Don’t be vague when writing down your goals; the more specific you can be, the better. For example, don’t say “I wish I made more money.” Decide how much money you need and want and write it down.
As you write these specific goals down, you might feel uncomfortable. Negative thoughts may come to you; you may feel that you can’t achieve the goal or that you don’t deserve to achieve it. Don’t give in to these feelings. Just write them down. Then, once they’re written down, write down the opposite of the feeling. For example, if you think, “It’ll take too long to achieve this goal,” write down, “I easily achieve this goal.” Then imagine that your new statement is true and focus on what behavioral changes you might make. This will tell you what you need to do to change your life.
Once you have this all written down, you have the framework for a plan to change your life. The next step is to make sub-goals for the next 30 days of your life. On a new piece of paper, write down each of your goals. Then list 5-10 things you need to do during the next 30 days to bring you closer to that goal. Once you’ve got your list, write a completion date for each goal. Then, put your sub-goals on your calendar. That way, you can take action towards your goal every day.
It’s not easy to get back in control of your life, but it’s worth it. By taking one step at a time, you can not only take back control of your life, but can create a better life than you ever imagined.
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